day5After a break from blogging, I find myself back in my favorite chair, feeling relaxed and ready to write. I had been waiting until my son, Alex, returned from Bali to decorate for the holidays. So this morning I’m sitting in the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights and it feels like home.

I began my morning ritual looking back over what I had written on day four. While there were some things I would change, my list of what I wanted more of and what I wanted less of, expressed my resolve to not repeat the year I’d just lived. It feels good to come clean – to myself and the world and I smile at the boldness this project has elicited in me.

Sensing the bigness of what I am calling myself into next year, it occurred to me that this might be the perfect time to sit with a question I’ve sat with countless times over the past seven years. It’s a question first posed by my life coach and now dear friend, John Dulworth. Today I can’t even ask the question without hearing his voice in my head. “So, who do you need to be Jane, to follow through on this intention?” “Who do you need to be to live this extraordinary life you see for yourself?

Staring at the candle flame, I run through the questions I know so well…

  • What qualities will I need to embody?
  • What beliefs will I need to stand in?
  • What behaviors will I need to adopt?
  • What boundaries will I need to set?                                                                                                                                          
  • Who do I need to be to have the life and business I envision for myself?

The answers started to flow, so I pulled out my journal and began to write… self-assured, bold, disciplined and positive. The words were coming quickly and felt familiar… resourceful, generous, healthy, courageous and outgoing. Then, in a moment of Déjà vu, my mind wandered back to the times I had completed this exercise over the past few years. I sensed the qualities I was calling myself into hadn’t really changed. Curiosity set in, so I went to my office and over to a shelf where I keep all my old journals. I pulled out the one from 2008 (the year I began working with John) and started to thumb through.

I remember I had reserved a few pages at the beginning of the journal for my big AHAS. This was the stuff I wanted to be able to look back on easily, in a pinch or at a time I was feeling wobbly. I turned to the third page where the satin ribbon was tucked – suggesting there was something worth revisiting.

There I found a clipping from a magazine glued to the top of the page. It read “A Celebration of Strengths.” Below it, I had written the question “Who do I need to be to live an extraordinary life?”

Then, I found a list of qualities and attributes I proclaimed way back in December of 2008. They were the same qualities I had written down just 10 minutes before, give or take a few. The facing page held the start to one of my favorite vision crafting exercises. It’s the one where you write out a journal entry as if it’s one year from now and you are looking back over the remarkable year you just lived. It’s a powerful way to get in touch with your true desires and is something I have my coaching clients do at the onset of our work together.

For nearly an hour, I thumbed through the pages written seven years ago and marveled at the wisdom, clarity and sweet similarity between what I wanted back then and what I want for myself today. What I remember about 2009 is that it turned out to be a remarkable year. As I read through the intentions I set forth in December 2008, I was amazed at how closely it resembled the year I actually lived.

So today, I’m not going to sit with the question, “Who do I need to be.” I know the answer now and I knew it in 2008. Instead, I want to sit with another question – one that feels more appropriate given my discovery. What I am asking myself this morning is… “Why do we forget the things we know?”

Why do we fall off the rails, stop doing what we know works, pull back from the people who make us more of who we are or cut ourselves off from the stuff in life that makes us whole?

I suppose the only answer to that question is… because we’re human. In our beautiful imperfection we are doing what humans do…

  • We work to get it right and it feels good.
  • We then screw it up or stop getting it right and it feels bad.
  • We notice the pain which then nudges us to get back up and try to get it right again.

And so it goes. ;0)

The truth is… I know this stuff. I know what I need to do and who I need to be to live the extraordinary year I see for myself and my loved ones. I know it because working with a life coach for six years equips you with the tools, perspectives and strategies that help you be the person you need to be in order to have the life you want to live.

Funny thing about that is “coaching with John” was actually one of the things I let go of this time last year. I felt equipped and stepped into 2015 with the tools, perspectives and strategies I had gathered over the years. Acknowledging this last year was not what I had wanted, you may be wondering what I was thinking… does that mean I can’t live an extraordinary life without a coach? No, I’m certain I can. But the truth is, it’s a lot easier and a hell of a lot more fun when you’ve got someone there to remind you of the stuff you already know and hold up a mirror for you every now and then. A coach is a tether to the tools, perspectives and strategies that make your journey easier and a whole lot sweeter. I’ve been missing that lately and actually renewed the commitment and we’re back in the game again. You’re actually going to meet my coach John, in a future post. ;0)

So my question for you dear reader is this… What have you forgotten?

What beliefs, behaviors, perspectives and strategies do you need to reclaim in order to have the best year of your life? I’m guessing they are there for you. Perhaps not written on the inside front cover of a journal, but they are there in the recesses of your mind, from a time when you were kicking ass and loving your life. Let’s go back and embrace those parts of you so you’ve got them to lean into on this journey toward your best year yet.

Now… it’s really going to get fun. ;0)

With love, Jane

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