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Action In The Face of Fear, Self-Doubt and Worry

AKA… My Challenge Kick-off Confession

stormIt’s 6 am on the morning before we kick-off the 30-Day Big Finish Challenge and I’m leaning into my morning practice. It’s dark outside, the candles are lit, Liquid Mind is playing on the Bose and I’ve got my journal in hand.

I want to make sense of what I’m feeling this morning – a mixture of “Holy shit, what have I committed to?” and “Yay, this is going to be fun!”

The reality of what I’ve promised sets in… to do a daily blog, video or live Zoom chat for 30 Days, on the topic of how to finish out 2016 in a really big way. We’re expecting a few thousand to join us, so it’s a pretty huge undertaking in and of itself.  But that’s not all we’re taking on in October. It’s also the month we are launching the new 3.0 version of our assessment software, as well as starting the next Platinum Mastermind group. It all seems daunting in these early morning hours and my inner critic starts to rage. “What in the hell were you thinking, Jane?” she asks.

What was I thinking when I told my team we would be doing a 30-Day Challenge in October in addition to everything else?  Why pack so much into one month?

I smile as I sit with this question, remembering a morning a few weeks ago, that was the catalyst for my decision. I was feeling especially wobbly and, as directed by my coach, was getting all my feeling out of my head and into my journal to better understand them.  You see, over the past nine months my team and I have worked really hard to get to where we are today. I have private coaching clients that I love, our two technology tools are stellar, our level of service is through the roof and my team is talented and on task. We are positioned for massive expansion and, if we play our cards right, we can hit the 1 million mark with this new company in our first six months. So it makes sense that I was feeling overwhelmed, but I was curious about the fear.

That morning, as I typically do, I wrote a question at the top of a page in my journal.  I’ve learned that when I do this it’s best not to force the answer but rather let the answer reveal itself.

What came next was a dialogue between that small, scared part of me and the bold, courageous part.

Side note… in keeping with my promise to be transparent and vulnerable throughout this challenge, I’ve decided to let you in on my process of using “curiosity” to move from fear and doubt, into a place of feeling strong, clear and empowered to take action.  It’s a process I’ve used to get my Masters in business, start my first company and take it to 2.5 million, and the same process I used to start six more businesses that have provided my family with a beautiful lifestyle these past three decades.

Here’s the question I wrote in my journal…

fishQ: “OK, what are you afraid of?”
A: “I’m afraid that if we really step out and play a much bigger game, bad things will happen.”
Q: “What bad things? This is exactly what we’ve been working toward. We are finally here.”
A: “I know. It’s exciting but it’s also really scary. When we step out all sorts of things can happen.”

And so it went, that Saturday morning, as I continued to get curious about the fear, self-doubt and worry that was keeping me from stepping into the very thing I had been working toward.

I wrote another question…  “What’s really holding me back from playing a bigger game?”

Here’s what came up…

  • I’m uncomfortable being in the spotlight and especially on camera
  • I’m worried we won’t hit our numbers for the Smart Biz Quiz launch
  • When I pack a lot into my life and business, self-care goes out the window
  • I’m worried that I will be judged by others – especially my peers
  • I’m afraid people won’t opt-in, comment or show up for the live Zoom chats
  • My team wants me to do Facebook Live and I’ve got some judgment around it
  • It’s hard to ask others for help. (For example “Will you tell your friends or email your list?”)
  • I’m worried I won’t be the leader my team needs me to be to pull this off

Yowzaa! There it is. All my big, beautiful Inner Game Stuff here for the world to see and judge.  But I’m okay with that because I know that in order for me to show you how I move from fear into a place of courageous action, you need to see what I’m actually moving through.

That Saturday morning I remember looking at the list and realizing that these fears were nothing more than thoughts in my head.

Some were very real for me and some were imagined and untrue, but all were keeping me from stepping into the next evolution of who I was being called to be.

Looking for inspiration, I turned to a page in my journal where I list some of my favorite quotes. This one jumped out at me…

“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” ~Rumi.

Even today, recounting that morning experience for you, I feel a surge of courage run through me as I read this quote.  So, leaning into Rumi’s words, I asked a better question.

“How can I play a bigger game and still feel safe?”

Three answers revealed themselves:

Answer #1: Don’t dumb down your goals Jane, simply surround yourself with more support.
Got it! I’ve since added two team members, expanded the roles of existing team members and asked my friend and life coach, John Dulworth to co-host the Big Finish Challenge with me. Done!

Answer #2: Use PDA (Public Display of Accountability) to hold yourself to a higher standard.
Interesting! I then remembered how powerfully I showed up last December when I conducted the Finish Strong Challenge. I kicked ass in all areas of my life, knowing I was leading by example. So, in addition to wanting to do something cool for my tribe, this challenge is also very much for me. ;0)

Answer #3: Do the thing you fear the most to live the life you truly want.
Yikes! This was the kicker that told me I needed to move beyond my discomfort and film the videos, host the live chats, ask others for support and play more in social media.

In short, I need to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable knowing it is how I’ve accomplished every major milestone in my life.

It’s also what I am constantly nudging my private clients to do so it only seems fair.

So there you have it… my Challenge Kick-off Confession to set the tone of transparency, honesty, and vulnerability.

I hope this helps you see that we are no different, you and me and that with the right tools and support you can move through any of the challenges you may be facing in your life and business right now.

My question for you is… are you ready for something bigger, more meaningful and more aligned with what you want for your life and business?  Are you willing to spend just a few minutes each day with John and me, to step into what’s waiting for you? Will you do as Rumi suggests…  forget safety, live where you fear to live, destroy your reputation and be notorious?

big finish challenge

If yes, click here to join me and John for the Big Finish Challenge and lock arms with a group of really cool people who have committed to end 2016 in a really big and beautiful way.

C’mon, it will be a blast!

Much Love, Jane

PS. I am dying to know what you think about this… please post below.

29 Comments

  1. Jackie October 2, 2016 at 3:45 pm - Reply

    I really appreciate your courage and transparency in sharing this post. I particularly like the quote and the questions you posed for yourself, which I intend to add to the questions I need to explore for myself as I start the Big Finish Challenge.

  2. Angela Tanger October 2, 2016 at 3:59 pm - Reply

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jane for being transparent and vulnerable. I wouldn’t want to lock arms and sprint into the last quarter of this year with a bunch of rah rah and hype. We’re entrepreneurs and our biggest challenges are the dances we do with our thoughts. AND many of them are down and dirty.

    We all have to be authentic enough to work our own programs. You’ve stepped into the arena with us and our our guide and champion, we’ll all come out winners.

    I for one will be cheering you and the rest of us on to a victorious ending to 2016.

    • Jane Deuber October 2, 2016 at 5:11 pm - Reply

      Wow Angela!! So awesome to hear 🙂 I am glad to have you along and I am happy to be your guide as I promise to completely transparent throughout these next 30 days. :o)

  3. Laura Bush October 2, 2016 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    I admire the specificity of your vulnerability, Jane, as well as your willingness to share about your actual process for the stunning successes you’ve achieved (and will continue to achieve). Besides that, your writing itself is clear, succinct, inspiring, and beautifully said. Bravo!

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 8:18 am - Reply

      Laura – thank you so much!

  4. Erica October 2, 2016 at 5:29 pm - Reply

    Your bravery, honesty, and transparency are amazing! SOOO many are going to benefit simply by reading this post. You have already touched so many lives, and think of all those who are still waiting to meet you…..having no idea how their lives will forever change…..in a better and bigger way….because of you! Every single sentence that you wrote here resonates with me. This particular quote really speaks to me and my own current fears and insecurities.

    “Forget safety. Live where you fear to live.
    Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” ~Rumi.

    The fear is still holding me back in some areas, and those little voices in my head that have been telling me certain stories my entire life are very hard to ignore! Thank you for helping nudge me outside my own comfort zone. It’s all so scary and exhilarating at the same time….but it makes one feel so ALIVE!!! People who don’t have the courage to step forward into that uneasy space have no idea the amazing things that they are missing. I know that you are helping many realize a part of themselves and their lives that they never knew existed. THANK YOU for everything….for being you…and for sharing!

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 7:25 am - Reply

      Erica!!!! I so love having you on this journey with me. You are up to such AMAZING things and this world needs more like you 🙂 xoxo

  5. Dolly Garlo October 2, 2016 at 5:38 pm - Reply

    Thanks for this share. Growing is what we are designed for, and yet we resist that foray into new endeavors like we’re waiting for actual saber tooth tigers to pounce. I know that’s what’s going on, and yet, that’s what’s going on. The built in so-called protective negativity bias that is supposed to keep us safe, also sometimes keeps us stuck. That stuck-ness is what actually threatens – because we set ourselves up to be the tastiest snack for the tiger that way. Again, knowing that doesn’t help. Only action helps. Action to move into and through discomfort (which is usually just a feeling of familiarity that may not be all that comfortable), until it becomes the new familiar and therefor more comfortable.
    I am very much looking forward to time spent with everyone doing my best to be in right action for myself and the work I am trying to deliver to the world. So thanks Jane for your share and this opportunity! XOXO
    Cheers, Dolly

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 7:28 am - Reply

      Ahh Dolly, what a beautiful awareness. I am looking forward to reading your shares through out this journey. ;o)

  6. Lisa October 2, 2016 at 7:01 pm - Reply

    Love this Jane! How timely. Just when the rubber needs to meet the road. Thanks for sharing the callenge with us as well as sharing your coach, John. Can’t wait to hang out with you guys.

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 7:29 am - Reply

      Wahoo Lisa!!! So excited to have you join us! It is going to be so much fun as we roll up sleeves and dive in.

  7. Steve Lishansky October 2, 2016 at 7:17 pm - Reply

    Another great Jane Deuber example of leadership by example, with transparency matched by the contribution you are making to many. Thank you for your wonderful work and example Jane!

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 8:17 am - Reply

      Thank you Steve!! :o)

  8. John McCubbin October 2, 2016 at 7:47 pm - Reply

    Honoured to be part of the journey sista! Love the process, your accountability to roll in the trenches and grow together. Let’s do this!

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 7:31 am - Reply

      So honored to have you on this amazing journey John!

  9. GAIL LARSEN October 2, 2016 at 8:15 pm - Reply

    Love that you, too, turn to the Rumi quote I use to encourage Holy Fools! Congratulations on all you’re creating, Jane!

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 8:17 am - Reply

      Thank you Gail! I am so blessed to have you on this journey!

  10. Barney Kramer October 3, 2016 at 8:57 am - Reply

    Good Morning Jane. When I made a decision to become a client and develop my Leadership Academy through you, your promise to stay with us on this journey of change. As a leader who preaches change, the decision to turn from a successful life time process to a whole new way of business was daunting. I had gone through a big learning curve that ferreted out more fox holes than solutions. Too many promises and so little performance at great expense. When the going got tough and required extra effort, they disappeared. After all the check had already cleared and lost customer here and there was a way of life for them. What convinced me that you were the right person to guide my transition was a combination of my experience with people and your own willingness to open up what was working for you and why it was working and then become a mentor and coach for the journey ahead.

    “The Big Finish Challenge” is one more example to me of how serious you took the promises you made at the Boot Camp I went to in the spring. The timing couldn’t be better as the body and soul are a bit exhausted at this point and I really need the encouragement to keep on keeping on at this point! Staying with us through challenges, frustrations and struggles and then delivering this is what I call taking the steps that only the best take to deliver the promise. Thanks for your help and friendship. Barney

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 11:45 am - Reply

      AWW Barney! I absolutely LOVE having you as a part of my community! Your are a true testament to so many out there to not let anything stand in your way. I truly hope through these next 30 days you will gain even more clarity. xoxo

  11. Sylvia Becker-Hill October 3, 2016 at 12:26 pm - Reply

    BEAUTIFUL! And POWERFUL! On all accounts. I feel you, hear you and am right with you on that Saturday morning.
    I’m signed up for your Big Finish Challenge – which by the way I read the first few times as the “Big Fish” challenge with the meaning “Big Fish = Big Money” which reflects my projected core issue, shame and guilt around failing financially with my business and my commitment to breakthrough that in the upcoming 3 months. I’m committed to bring my Online Academy alive on your platform and need to stop sabotaging that…

    • Jane Deuber October 3, 2016 at 1:03 pm - Reply

      Aww beautiful Sylvia!! I so LOVE having you in my community, you are such an amazing woman. I am excited to stand by you and with you as you claim your breakthrough for the next three months! XOXO

  12. Corine October 3, 2016 at 7:41 pm - Reply

    Bravo for the Behind the Scenes Boo Hoo’s (I can relate), Baffling Belief Systems (Yep still relating) and Big Breakthroughs (Yes and ready for more)! You say Jane Deuber … I say I’m In! We may wobble but Watch. Us. Rise. I’m holding the highest vision of success for all of us! Thanks Jane!

    • Jane Deuber October 4, 2016 at 9:37 am - Reply

      SO excited to have you Corine!!!!! 🙂

  13. Linda Kroll October 3, 2016 at 7:51 pm - Reply

    Thank you, Dearest Jane, for what feels like a total transcription of every fear I have, every quote I love, and all that I hope to embody. You are a true inspiration, and I am awed by your transparency, courage and eloquence. So looking forward to this journey together. Thank you for everything! xoxoxo

    • Jane Deuber October 4, 2016 at 9:36 am - Reply

      So happy you are joining us Linda! 🙂

  14. JoAnn October 5, 2016 at 10:52 am - Reply

    I think that you are such a great leader for many of us Jane. I have to think about what is possible in the time I have. I’m going to my son’s Graduation Oct 20 and back 24th and then I’m going to JVX Nov 2 and then Internet Impact Nov 10 have some time. I think I can do something in Dec and I’m planning for 2017. i’m feeling good about what I’m going to do now which is about the clarity part. I was not clear with what I could do that was big enough to get me excited.

  15. Melodee Meyer October 10, 2016 at 2:00 pm - Reply

    That’s my girl, on the bleeding edge. Leadership by skinned-knee example. Love it. Love you.

  16. Karin Olson October 17, 2016 at 11:39 am - Reply

    Thank you for this, Jane. What a great reminder to steer away from fear, criticism and self-doubt by heading into curiosity. But more than just any old curiosity, a courageous curiosity where we are willing to be vulnerable enough to look at what the question behind the question holds.

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